you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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