I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
