he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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