so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize