absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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