he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
