ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
