i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
