i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
