Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
