Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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