Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
