and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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