some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
