okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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