Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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