I cockslap morals
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
