Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
