remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
