I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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