you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
