I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
