Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
