If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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