we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
