she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
