if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
