Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize