I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
