Im at strip club and am horny
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm passing your future prison.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
