Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
