I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
