i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
no you cant smoke seaweed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
