Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
