they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
