First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
