Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize