you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize