i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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