When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
