sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
