I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
