playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
