Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
