I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You know, be my cock's hype man.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
