You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
40s are totally the cure
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize