I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
