I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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