So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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