also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
