i was born a porn star she said
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize