do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
