I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
