i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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