You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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