yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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