Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
