just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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