You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
