do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
