I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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