I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize