i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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