Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize